Washington Post Sets Record Straight

It’s the Style, NOT Mensa Invitational

Dear Joyce:

Thanks for taking the time to check out the provenance of the “Mensa Invitational” list you then posted on your blog.

You’re so close, though.

The “blog post” (see below) you referred to was actually the introduction to one of the weekly contests of The Style Invitational, which I run.  And two Style Invitational contests from 1998 are the sources of many — but not all — of the neologisms in the lists above. (For example, “decafalon” isn’t a one-letter change from “decathlon,” is it? Or “caterpallor”?)  Much better to see the real thing — every week at washingtonpost.com/styleinvitational.

The Style Invitational is a weekly humor/wordplay contest with unbelievably clever humor contributed by thousands of readers. It’s published every Saturday in The Post’s Style (features) section, and every Friday afternoon at about 3:30 Eastern. There are neologism contests regularly, but also lots of other sources of humor as well.

The results to be posted on Friday, Feb. 12, are for funny “rhopalic” sentences in which the successive word has to be one letter shorter than the last one. (Click on Week 856 to see the results.)

And last week’s results (Feb. 6, 2010) were for “shrunken” movie and book titles. The top winners:  The Fifth Sense: “I smell dead people.” (Adam and Russell Beland, Fairfax) The Mediocre Gatsby: The biography of Tareq Salahi. (Ira Allen, Bethesda) Slaughterhouse $4.99: A family gets to choose among beef, chicken and pork with all the trimmings — only at Denny’s! (Greg Arnold, Herndon)  Three Days of the Condom: Love on a shoestring. (Edmund Conti, Raleigh) See the rest of the winners at washingtonpost.com/styleinvitational. Or you can become a fan of “Washington Post Style” on Facebook and you’ll get a link to the Invitational when it’s posted. I hope you pass this information on to your readers, and that you and they become regular readers and maybe even regular entrants.

Best, The Empress of The Style Invitational

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Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease

File this under “The Best Laugh of My Week”

This landed in my inbox today. It was identified as the Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational, which asks readers to take any word from the dictionary,  alter it by adding,  subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply  a new definition.

But a quick Google search revealed that the Post takes no credit for it. On January 28, 2007, a WP blog post with the byline “The Empress” said the following:

“It still hasn’t stopped: With mystifying regularity, we continue to receive (often passed through several mailboxes at The Post) unsolicited entries to what’s sometimes called the “Mensa Invitational,” and most recently “Change a Letter, Change a Lot”: The results of Week 271 have continued to orbit in cyberspace for almost 10 years, picking up forwarders’ own efforts along the way. We hope these lost souls find us this week. This week’s contest: Take a word, term or name that begins with E, F, G or H; add one letter, subtract one letter, replace one letter or transpose two letters; and define the new word, as in the examples above, which got ink in 1998 and 2003.

I say, regardless of where it originated, it’s a hoot. Enjoy!

Here are the winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the

subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until

you  realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a  hillbilly.

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops

bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows

little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about  yourself for the purpose of

getting laid.

read more »

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A Best Friend’s Tribute to Olivia Marchand

Nicole Kibblehouse’s Presentation at Saturday’s Memorial Mass at St. Catherine’s of Alexandria Church

WESTFORD, Mass. – For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Livy’s best friend. I know that none of you were probably as close to her as I was before she died, and that’s why I’m standing here this morning.

I don’t want you to remember her as the picture you see in the newspaper or on the news everyday, I want you to remember her as if she was your best friend. I want you to know the little things that should never be forgotten.

Liv is the most understanding person I’ve ever met and the best listener by far. I can ramble on and on all day about the most random and uneventful stories, and she will still ask me questions and laugh. She’s dependable. I can text or call her at any time and she will always answer.

The only time she lets me down is if she hangs out with someone else besides me.

read more »

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Olivia Marchand, 17, Memorialized by Peers

Gathering at Westford Academy Ends a Week of Mourning

By Joyce Pellino Crane

WESTFORD, Mass. – The bright smile was evident in every photo displayed on the oversized screen at an afternoon vigil memorializing Olivia Marchand, 17, who, police say, was the tragic victim of domestic violence.

Westford Academy students honored Marchand’s memory one final time, this afternoon, with a five-minute photo essay depicting their classmate from her elementary school days through her senior year—an effervescent girl surrounded by friends or nuzzling her horse Lola.

The assembly inside the school’s 850-seat Performing Arts Center drew so many mourners that it spilled over into a gymnasium.

Police say Marchand was shot with a 9 mm handgun by her father, Brian Marchand, 59, who also critically wounded his wife, Jody, 50, and then killed himself with a gunshot.

read more »

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“Live for Liv,” is Message to Grieving Community

Community Gathers to Memorialize Olivia Marchand, 17, Domestic Violence Victim

Community Gathers to Memorialize Olivia Marchand, 17, Domestic Violence Victim

Mass Memorializes Olivia Marchand, 17, Fatally Shot by her Father, Police Say

by Joyce Pellino Crane

WESTFORD, Mass. – A high school senior beseeched the community to “Live for Liv,” this morning, inside an overflowing church where her fellow classmates, their families, and friends gathered to memorialize a student who died violently this week.

The early morning Mass at St. Catherine of Alexandria Church brought together a community seeking solace over the death of a popular high school senior and the critical wounding of her mother who, police say, were shot Monday by the student’s father, before he turned the gun on himself.

Olivia Marchand, 17, died at her Makepeace Road home from a 9 mm gunshot wound. Her mother, Jody Marchand, 50, was med-flighted to the University of Massachusetts Memorial Medical Center in Worcester where a hospital representative, today, said he had “no information on that patient.”

Brian Marchand, 59, Olivia’s father and Jody’s husband, died at the scene, according to Middlesex District Attorney Gerry Leone.

read more »

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“Sh_t My Dad Says,” (This Guy is Hilarious)

This 29-year-old man acquired over one million followers on Twitter just by posting comments made by his 74-year-old father. You’ll laugh your head off, I guarantee.

http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays

Students Grieve for Classmate; Police say Teen Was Killed by Father in Murder-Suicide

Jody Marchand

Jody Marchand, mother of Olivia

Mother Remains Hospitalized in Critical Condition

by Joyce Pellino Crane

WESTFORD, MASS. – The day after a Westford Academy student was fatally shot by her father with a 9 mm. handgun, according to police, dozens of students gathered inside the public high school’s auditorium to handwrite their sorrow on rolls of paper stretched across the stage.

About 70 seniors gathered this afternoon to grieve collectively for Olivia Marchand, a popular high school senior who was planning to attend the University of Vermont in the fall as a freshman.

Instead she was found dead at 8:37 p.m. yesterday inside her parent’s master bedroom on Makepeace Road from a gunshot wound, the victim of a murder-suicide, according to Middlesex District Attorney Gerry Leone. Leone said her father, Brian Marchand, 59 shot and killed his 17-year-old daughter, and shot his wife, Jody Marchand, 50, who was med-flighted to the University of Massachusetts Medical Center in Worcester where she remains in critical condition.

read more »

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Two Dead in Westford, Third Air-lifted to Hospital

Serene Community Again Rocked by Apparent Violence

Westford, MA – Two people in a Makepeace Road home died tonight and a third was airlifted to the University of Massachusetts Memorial Medical Center in Worcester, according to Westford Police Captain Joseph Roy. The incident occurred at 8:37 p.m. Roy did not identify the victims pending notification of next of kin and would not specify a cause of death.

Regional broadcast media reported that the fatalities were due to gunshot wounds.

The incident remains under investigation, Roy said.

Until recently, violent crimes in this pastoral community were rare. But on January 9, Frederick Leduc of Forge Village Road allegedly shot his wife Karen and sustained a gunshot wound under his chin. Karen Leduc died a few days later and Leduc was charged with first degree murder while recuperating at Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston.

JOYCE PELLINO CRANE


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Scott Brown Steals Mass. Senate Seat

Stunning Race Outcome Sends Republican to D.C.

Martha Coakley’s stunning upset to Scott Brown in the Massachusetts Senate race tonight is not about dissatisfaction with the economy and the Obama Administration. It’s about a talented but bland candidate who stacked up less favorably in comparison to her charismatic male opponent.

Whether you’re the engaging Sarah Palin or the pragmatic Hillary Clinton, if you’re a female,  you’ll face vicious critics. Coakley’s regional bid didn’t generate the same level of nastiness that the two national female candidates experienced during the 2008 Presidential campaign but only because the timeline was short and took place over the Christmas holiday when many were distracted, leaving less time for scrutiny. But make no mistake, Coakley lost votes because of her gender and because we still struggle with subconscious beliefs about female roles in this country.

That combined with her cool persona cost her the election.

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